when sadness interfere..

assalamualaikum..

i always asked my self..
why people tend to mad?
why we tend to scold others whether it is right in front their faces or even by keep it from their noticement (i keen to this type).

i admit..
im not that type of person who will voice out my dissapoinment or anger in front of da particular person who hurts me..
i have this so-called sympathy towards them(eventhough they really hurt me)..
sometimes i wonder how am i going to survive living in this hypocritisme..being plastic all the time...

all of my friends see me as a jovial person..whom will try her very best to put a smile on everyone's faces..but the truth is..i do hurt sometimes..n usually..i will mend it by myself...n not by other's supports or advises..why?am i egoist?for not sharing my problems with others?it's a big NO..if ever i did that..that's simply because i hate seeing my friends feeling guilty or dubious on what should they say to me..i prefer on being with them when they are in happiness..





i'm actually killing myself by continue practicing this way of life..but i just couldn't help myself..

i just hope..i will remain as me..n i will not go overboard cuz i know the chance for sumone who loves to keep her sadness,anger and sorrowness by herself to 'explode' one day is extremely high..and i can feel it now..it develops little by little each and every day..i started to become easily hurt,super sensitive n stuffs like that...
ya ALLAH..please save me from those hatred and anger that possibly created by myself.. :(

What a Day??!!

assalamualaikum~

what a day!
pagi semalam sy telah melibatkan diri dalam ke"kelam-kabut"an..
bagus..padan muke..
siapa suruh tidur lepas subuh..(tapi sy tidur sbb..TERtidur)


"effa...tak mahu pergi kelaskah?",tiba-tiba satu suara minah sarawak mengejutkan saya dari mimpi nan indah.

yeah..it was jos..my housemate merangkap classmate sy..

dengan muka ala-ala cekodok basi..sy meraba-raba hp utk tgk pukul berapakah waktu itu...

JENG..JENG..JENG...
7.30 pagi...

dan kelas reading skill pada 8 pagi..yang lebih burukkan keadaan..akan ada test pagi tu..

sudah tentu kalau sy lambat..madam A(bukan nama sebenar) akan halau sy..haha..mungkin tak halau..tapi sure di'basuh' dan disental sehingga putih suci dan berseri(gunalah KLOROX)..

menyedari bahawa sy dalam bahaya..lalu..sy pun meluru ke bilik air,siapkan diri sepantas kilat..lalu turun utk naik bas bersama jos..

berada dalam bas pada pukul 7.45 pagi menuju ke kampus yang terletak hampir 10 minit perjalanan menaiki bas(tak sampai 10 minit pun sebenarnya..tapi pakcik bas seorang pemandu berhemah..pandu ikut had ye..)

dengan mata yang masih separuh terbuka n separuh tertutup..berjalanlah sy ke kelas di tmn U..
pergh..nk jalan lagi ke situ dlm 5 minit..(kelajuan biasa)..sy dah tak hirau orang usha2 sy yang mcm cekodok tika itu..(ade aq kesah??)


akhirnya..sampai juga ke kelas..sy ambik port blakang skali..sbb taknak membe2 perasan muka cekodok sy..haha..

beberapa minit kemudian..masuklah lecturer..

Eh..ni bukan madam A..tapi org lain..ganti mungkin..tak kisah la..

"okay..u may begin answering"..

alhamdulillah..dapat jwb dengan tenang..sehinggalah..

tit..tit..tit...(bunyi hp)

"ish..siapala yang bising ni..dah tau xam..matikanlah hp",getus hati kecilku(eceh..)

bunyi itu makin lama makin kuat..dan makin lama juga makin dekat..

Ya ALLAH..hp sy rupa-rupanya..

malu!(masalahnya saya dah offkan hp tadi..)ces..alarm rupanya..(ni sebab waktu alarm tu berbunyi awal pagi td...sy tak matikan..jadi..ia akan terus berbunyi la kan..)

nasib baik lecturer tak tanya apa2..setelah matikan alarm tu..sy teruskan menjwab xam dgn tenang..


beberapa minit kemudian..

"if u have finished answering..u may go.."

teng..tereng..teng..tereng..teng..(bunyi disko..kuat gila kot!)

hua..alarm bunyi lagi..kali ni super kuat n memang menyebalkan..lecturer di depan menggerak-gerakkan kepala beliau..mencari-cari di manakah bunyi itu..

pergh..nasib baik sempat matikan..

setelah siap..sy pun keluar dari kelas..


KURANG ASAM PUNYA HP!!!