when sadness interfere..

assalamualaikum..

i always asked my self..
why people tend to mad?
why we tend to scold others whether it is right in front their faces or even by keep it from their noticement (i keen to this type).

i admit..
im not that type of person who will voice out my dissapoinment or anger in front of da particular person who hurts me..
i have this so-called sympathy towards them(eventhough they really hurt me)..
sometimes i wonder how am i going to survive living in this hypocritisme..being plastic all the time...

all of my friends see me as a jovial person..whom will try her very best to put a smile on everyone's faces..but the truth is..i do hurt sometimes..n usually..i will mend it by myself...n not by other's supports or advises..why?am i egoist?for not sharing my problems with others?it's a big NO..if ever i did that..that's simply because i hate seeing my friends feeling guilty or dubious on what should they say to me..i prefer on being with them when they are in happiness..





i'm actually killing myself by continue practicing this way of life..but i just couldn't help myself..

i just hope..i will remain as me..n i will not go overboard cuz i know the chance for sumone who loves to keep her sadness,anger and sorrowness by herself to 'explode' one day is extremely high..and i can feel it now..it develops little by little each and every day..i started to become easily hurt,super sensitive n stuffs like that...
ya ALLAH..please save me from those hatred and anger that possibly created by myself.. :(